i mux wake up my idea

went for my bond signing on tue....
saw e other ger, shwu huey, in e lift...
dino e ger was her n was quite surprised when she called out my name...
hmm..i mux sae tt i m not surprised tt she's awarded e scholarship...
she can reali tok n she's v confident of herself....
hmm..n we going to e same sch...hmm...interesting...
but guess tt day, i dun feel like toking too much...
partly cos my leg quite suan tong....so not in e mood....
hope will heal by next thur...
my leg still abit swollen...hope e swell goes away asap....
n i managed to finish 1 book liao...
starting on my next bk....
2nite's match will b nice...but sad tt i carn join enyu n co for e match...
will b nice if i can..but carn...
hope argentina wins....

arggghhhhhhhhhhhh

actuali i dun noe how to describe my feeling now....
noe tt she's not my gf now...n tt she got a bf now....n dey r v close....
y m i so upset....mayb cos i m now in pain n i hate dis injury of mine...
in e past can keep myself occupy den i wont go n tink so much...
den now i m stuck at home...nothing to keep me occupied so i m tinking too much again...
den when she sms me,i will b quite hapi to c her sms...
but it hurts when u look forward to e sms n it dun cum...
esp during e wkend...my guess is tt she wont sms me cos she's too hapi being wif her bf....
somehow or rather, even if e sms were to cum, it's during e wkdays....when her bf is not ard by her side....den again she sae she wan to save her sms...so der's a few sms tt i din reply her...cos no pt...
actuali i carn haf too high an expectation of her...
after all she is only a fren of mine...nothing more den tt....
when i gave her up, i jux wan her to b happi...she's happi now i guess...
so dun tink it's fair for me to ask for anymore....
guess i jux need to find a gf den will b fine liao....
but can i gif e new ger my whole heart? i felt sorry for e new ger if der's any....
god, pls let me recover soon k....
it's a torture...both mentali n phsysicali

my leg haven recovered yet

arghhhh
it's being 4 days liao n i can only limped ard my hse....
wondered how long will i take to recover from dix injury...
i carn stand e boredom liao....
i haf being lying on e bed e whole day n i m so sick of it liao...
but der's nothing for me to do n nothing i can do....
tink dis injury reali cum at a wrong time man...
not when i haf my tkd grading on 8 july n my driving pract test on e 3 aug....
starting to curse n swear....but dix is not me....
i dun like to gif in....
hate it when i carn do anything abt it....
n i m starting to lose faith in e sinseh....while i tink he's not tt bad....
but he seem to be holding back, not reali wan to treat me....seem like he wan to cheat my money by keep asking me to go back for check up....
n serious i wonder if e bone is back in place liao...
cos got a feeling tt it's still a bit out of place....
tok for quite a while wif winnie on msn n guesses tt managed to lighten up my mood abit....
let's hope tmr will b beta....
i reali hope so...
n der's alot of food i wan to eat....will b nice if someone cld buy dem for me....

my resolutions

feb - mar 06
* set e safety system in 6sir right b4 i go
* 15 mar 06 = ord

mar 06 to dec 06
* nuh volunteer ( gif back to society)
* find interesting temp jobs
* improve on my swimming
* get e scholarships i wan
* tkd black belt
* driving license by aug
* learn cooking
* learn blading
* learn a new martial arts
* run ahm 06
* run standard chartered marathon 06
* vertical marathon
*overseas volunteer trip
* enjoy my uni life
* get a beautiful body wif 6pecs
* spend more time wif family n grandma
* learn to appreciate e pple ard me
* go phuket n bangkok
* haf a memorable 21st bdae

part 2 of my reflection- RS

some lessons tt i had learnt from e short rs i had from 2aug to 21 nov 2005

- gf will appreciate if e guy can spend more time wif her, sms her, call her no matter how busy he is
- to tok / communicate is v v v v v v v v impt. to noe how e gre reali feel is impt...wat she sae may not always b true....
- be observant of her likes / dislikes / habits
- dun b so forgetful
- gf luv surprises, care n concern from e guy
- der's no way u can remove memories from e previous rs. der's always a special place in e heart for all previous rs...but past is past liao...e most impt thing is she had chosen u
- in a rs, der's no such thing as giving her up to another guys jux bcos u 'TOT' tt she will b more hapi wif e other guy (when she din sae or imply tt) n tt e other guy need her more den u need her...it's not a noble action....it's a v stupid thing to do....
- once u found ur soul mate / e ger u reali like, dun let go until she does...
- face e prob 2gether wif her..dun jux sae " let's break up"
- in a rs, it's not a party's fault tt she had a change of heart...b hapi 4 her tt she has found some1 beta n tt suit her more den u do
- to like n luv is not to possess her..jux need to noe tt she's always hapi can liao...b her best fren
- dun let a ger wait for 16days for ur call or sms..it's v painful to wait for so long...
- even if u duno how to explain y u like her so much, let her noe u reali like her
- sometimes u need to fight for wat u wan, sometimes "if it's meant to b, it will b"
- she has her right to choose
- carry out all your promises, dun let her wait too long

my dad

my dad took leave today...cos my leg injured...
den he brought me to c a sinseh at tiong bahru....
i cldn't walk when i woke up lor...n he almost had to carry me on his back to go c e sinseh...
but i decide to hop on my own...
e sinseh quite gd i hope....
he sae my ankle dislocated n e ligament / muscle ard my ankle tear abit ....
den when he pushed back my bone into place...i almost cried lor...
e pain is....i tink rather kill me suan le....
now at least my toes can move without pain liao...
but my ankle still damned pain...
miss all e nice food...
it will b nice if someone cld get any nice food for me...
but tink beta tt i dream abt it....
tink i spent abt 50bucks in total...20bucks on cab fare n 32 bucks for e sinseh...
mux pay back my parents...
actuali tinking back, my dad is almost perfect if he cld nag less...
but it's his character la...mayb i sld learn to accept it n tok more to him...
den my bond signing got postponed cos of my injury...to next wk...
tink cos a bit of trouble for kcl side n e other scholars...
so paiseh lor...but i reali cldn't walk der....
thur got medical checkup at ntu..duno how m i going to go der sia...
den fri got driving...how to drive wif my leg litat?

my grandpa n grandma bdae present

i gave a real surprising bdae present to my grandma n grandpa for their bdae...
i came home wif my leg bandaged up n it shocked dem abit....
injured myself during my usual sun morning basketball game...
i stepped on someone's feet...how suay can i get...
n prior to tt, i was telling my cousin tt if u sprained ankle, RICE is gd...cos i read it on e newspaper b4 i left my hse for e bball game...
mux b a curse...
n i tink e sinseh sucks...regret going der...tink tmr i sld go c e other sinseh tt i frequent often...
but how e hell m i going to hobble der?
n i mux sae here...
i n in SOOOOO mucHHHHH PAINNNNNNNNNNN....
cos carn tell anyone....so let it blog it out...
ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
called winnie to let her noe of my injury...
initially dun wan to let her noe....cos not v nice...
but still called her cos i carn stand my dad n relatives nagging n i m in too much pain liao
hence i need to hear a smoothing voice...so i called her...
she sounded a bit 'cold'....
den after tt sms her oso no reaction...
guess me jux a bit fan ba....tt's y i m blogging abt my pain here...
tell her oso duno if she will react...
i slp oso can feel e pain lor...mux go n find some painkillers....
i shall blog abt my video shooting experience some other time...
e ankle injury jux spoil my mood for anything=(

my last tots abt e last 2 yrs of NS (unit life)

looking back, e reason y i wan to commission den is so tt i cld haf a positive influence on e men's lifes n to correct things / systems tt were wrong wif the small authority i had.
unit life exposed me to lifes / stories tt i tot only happened in drama serials even thou i m not a PC
As a dys3 (ops n safety), e responsibilities r great
As a dyS3 (ops),i m jux glad tt i played a small part in keeping spore safe thru the deployment of our guys..but the credit mux goes to the PC n e men on the ground. I jux facilitate to make sure things r in place...
As n nsf, tink my priority is to make sure tt no life is lost during peacetime trg cos no man deserves to lose their life 2 NS.it's both commanders' n men's responsibility to set this priority rite. der r times where i lost focus. der r times where i din get my priority rite. der r times where i din put in 100% of my effort cos i m disillusioned n burn out. I haf got 1 last chance to set things rite in the feb / mar safety meeting b4 i go. i jux dun wan to c any life lost...

*Some significant experiences*
- SMS audit 05/06
- Conducting offr for Bn's ICSB range
- Committee member of heritage run
- writing lesson plan for ROC trg
- ROC trg wif the unit
- PPT / BMT intake
- ord parade / dinner
- turn-ops parade
- Bn safety days
- National day prep

*My take away*
- b clear of wat u wan to achieve n change n jux do it
- dun lost focus of ur goals / aims
- do wat u tink is right, regardless of rank
- change teh system if it's wrong
- treat every1 wif respect n as frens it helps to get things done
- rank isn't everything
- show care n concern for ur men n dey will tok to u
- gif rm for ur sgts n clerk to do their job n step in only when necessary
- follow ur values
- dare to make decisions n take responibilities for ur orders
- blog to make urself heard if der's no one u can tok to

ok..i m tired liao...my arms r aching from e gym workout i did wif enyu n des...
but it feels gd to hit e gym once again after so long...
so e rest i will blog tmr

my last tots abt e last 2 yrs of NS (OCS)

actuali i did this reflect when i was clearing leave
so i guessed it's in feb
n now i m blogging it cos jux in case i lost the paper

I am always pretty lost when it cum to describing wat i haf being thru for the past 2 yrs...
not tt i duno how to describe...
but i duno where to start n where to end...

The OCS experience

OCS is all abt breaking us up and shaping us into efficient leaders that r both mentally n physically tough while yet confident n competent enuf to lead the men n specs with the correct set of values n to b a gentleman at the same time...

I have changed from someone who dun dare to speak up, who dun dare to implement his beliefs to someone who dare to do wat he preach n stand by his beliefs to make the system work

The delta spirit, the friendships, the experiences, the strong bond built during extremem times, the fun, the tekan, the tears n pain, the process of growing up and maturing, I m jux proud to b from ocs delta wing...
like wat i wrote in my ex lancer reflections den: we fought hard, we refused to gif in to defeat, jux take a moment to observe yourself n e bros ard u, we r starting to behave like an officer n not a cadet liao...
fighting to commission, to get the jcc badge r e few things i haf eva tried so hard to achieve...

"lessons learnt in ocs r e lessons tt will make me diff from my peers. these lessons r not jux abt fitness, tactics, n fieldcraft. dey r lessons in LIFE, lessons in tinking, lessons in analyzing, understanding, accepting n believing"
Cpt Chua Jin Kiat

"it's the journey n lessons learnt tt matter, n not so much the destination. Stand tall, stand proud n neva b afraid to do wat's right"
Cpt Justin Ang

"Maintain a postive learning attitude n wif the right values, u will b able to not only gif yourself a positive ns experience, but to all those within your influence as well"
Cpt Woo

"Do cherish the noble duty of leading tt only a select few r bestowed "
"Exemplary conduct is a lifestyle, not an act"
"Lead ur men wif ur heart, not ur rank"
"Treat ur men as bros n dey will go to the end of the world for u"
"And of course, dun forget to smile"
Maj Ben Looi

tink it's time tt i blog abt this

*The officer's creed*

I am an officer of the Singapore Armed Forces
My duty is to lead, to excel n to overcome
I lead my men by example
I answer for their training, morale n discipline
I must excel in everything i do
I serve with pride, honour and integrity
I will overcome adversity with courage, fortitude and determination
I dedicate my life to Singapore

*Delta Core Values*

Daring, Cohesive, Lead by example, Integrity, Passion

*Delta Vision*

To be a wing with a strong sense of brotherhood, striving for excellence, daring to make a difference as one

"ONCE DELTA ALWAYS DELTA"

finali her bdae is over

shit..i reali blogged tt i went to shop for winnie's present..
how stupid can i get...carn believe it man...
nvm la..it's over le...quite a relief...
tink it had being a gd surprise for her bdae n something tt she will remember for quite some time...
cos apparently no one gave her such present b4...
n stupid lor, the light stick i brought at ikea dun work...tink it's spoilt...
den i almost sian 1/2....but lan lan..not time to go get another one...
if not e surprise will b nicer...
like the way she tried 2 search ard the playgrd....she noe i m hiding something
but she jux cldn't find it....
e whole thing cld haf being alot more beautiful but guess i m not in a position to make it so beautiful...but this is the first time i spent so much effort to prepare a present...
den as i celebrate her bdae for her (actuali not reali celebrating for her)
i wondered how wld my bdae b like? guess i will noe when time cum...
looking forward to it...
n hope it will b beta den last yr...dun tink can get any more worse
went for des commissioning 2dae....e feeling is great...got alot of memories...
memories of me in e parade...memories of me n winnie going for e july parade last yr....
when e oath was taken, when e ocs song was sung etc...i felt proud...
it reminded me of wat happened....
i may haf lost her due to my ns committment...
but i chose this path...the path of an offr n i haf to b responsible to e rank n e promise i made to e nation...
it may sound cliche
but being an offr is an v impt part of my life...not cos of e prestige..but it's abt the experiences along e way...
at the end of e parade, as i reflected back on e past 2 yrs, i asked myself wld i forgo my responsibility as an offr had i noe i will lose her in e end...
n i noe my ans is tt i wld not forgo my responsibility...it's painful to lose her...
but it's not fair tt so many men out der haf a bad ns experience in my unit partly due to me not playing my part....
but the memory of going for e parade wif her is nice....in fact it's beautiful...

surprised surprised

went for e modelling interview 2dae...
e set up of the company doesn't impress me...so 1st impression is bad
some of e gers i c carn make it....
so in e end, i told dem tt i need some time to consider...
den on my way der, i saw veronica n huiping plus their fren...
so shocked lor
e train so big n dey pian pian go into e cabinet tt i m in...
n dey shouted 'mr liang'...
so paiseh lor...but tink cos dey r too shocked liao...
den veronica v funny...asked if e ger besides me was my gf....
me v shocked by her qn n guess it made tt ger uneasy.....
den i asked y she sae so....n she sae cos e ger kept looking at me....
but me din realise e ger kept looking at me...
but she quite touchy..her arms kept touching my arms...
went shopping
e great spore sale like not so great litat=(

surprised

2dae was my 1st day at the adults ward...
not as fun as the ward 12...more boring n not all the patients r friendly...
n der's only me, eugene n zhichao...
abit difficult..cos tink we haven reached the level where we can work on an individual basis...
so in e end we stick together...haha...
basically we interacted wif only 2 patients....supposed to feed another patient but he's abit hostile...so we decided to leave him alone...tink it's beta tt way...
can c the nurses all v stress...dey dun reali smile...
tink a nurse's job is oso not easy too....esp when not all patients r easy to handle like wat we had experienced...
oh ya..b4 tt i went shopping wif zhichao for winnie's bdae present...n zhichao brought his fren along...a nurse cum model...she got the taitai look...n she's rich too...ok nvm...jux some comments...but she seems nice...
n 2dae i was stopped at orchard mrt by dix ger tt sae she was looking for new faces for her modelling agency...was so surprised by it...haha

so touched

went to geng lin's hse for bbq wif 1d1...
so nice...n now i understand y some teachers can teach 4eva...
e satisfaction tt u get when ur students learnt, listen to u n appreciate wat u did for dem is something tt money carn buy...
got this cute army soldier alarm clock from my science rep...
guess will use it to decorate my hostel....
den dey did a burn video for me oso n gwen...
a video of the farewell bash dey gave us on our last day....
so touched...thou the video is not v clear....but was touched by their effort...
haven reali took a foto wif the whole class....guess will go back 1 day when sch reopens to take the foto...
tink i will smile in my sleep 2nitE=)
dey r jux so sweet...
thx 1d1 for all these sweet memories...ur class remind me of my sec class....
take care n all e best to every single one of u=)