recession makes me grow up even faster

everyone knew that recession is here. you heard people saying that they are feeling the impact of the recession. do they really feel the impact? some people may say that they lost some paper money on their investment. but those loses are unrealised and as long as you are able to hold on til the crisis is over, you sld b fine.

i have being through a few financial crisis: 1997 asia financial crisis and this current crisis. but i never really felt the impact until now because i finally understood that the impact will only be felt when your family lost the main source of income.

i just realised that my family has lost the main source of income. suddenly, i felt the impact of recession. suddenly, i truly understand that Cash is KING. suddenly, there's a high possibility that i will be providing for the whole family as soon as i graduate.

it's amazing how things have changed over the 3 years. in my first year of undergraduate, i didn't think about going for better job cos im contented with what i have and i just want to finish my course smoothly. i dun need to worry financially cos my family was still doing fine and i have my scholarship allowance

in my second year, i was tempted by the more glamorous and high paying jobs, so much so that i regretted taking up the scholarship.

in my 3rd year, first, there was the economy downturn and some of my friends can't even find jobs. suddenly it seemed like having a scholarship and a rather decent job was a fortunate and lucky thing. as of 30 jan 2009, i felt that a scholarship was really a blessing in disguise because i managed to have some savings from the scholarship and these amount should be able to see me through until i start work in june. though in the process, i may have to give up certain luxuries: my bangkok trip in march, cfa level 2 examination in jun, grad trip, unnecessary items like new clothes and a new bag etc.

it's amazing how my views on my scholarship award can fluctuate so drastically in a time span of 3 years.

some side notes:
1) i managed to pass my cfa level 1 examination. worldwide passing rate is 35%
2) i donated blood for the first time today. surprisingly, i quite like the experience. it's pleasant and meaningful
3) perhaps i sld buy some toto for next wk's toto ang bao 2009
4) i will be looking for some part time job from now onwards.

Year 2009 started on a rather bad note. hope it will be better in the coming months

Rich or Poor

i always wonder if it's better for a kid to grow up in a not-so-well-to-do family.

using myself as an example, i grew up in a not-so-well-to-d0 family. not everyone knows that the first time i traveled abroad was with the SAF. in fact, my first 3 overseas trips were with the army. there were many things i wanted when i was young. i didn't dare to request cos i knew my parents were not v rich. they scrimped and saved for the family. when i started to get really sensible about life in secondary, i knew if i wanted the things, i will earn them myself. that's why some of my friends may feel that i was super driven to do well and be successful in life.

though my auntie is rather strict, and not so willing to spend on my little cousin, all my other relatives some how doted on her. hence i felt she was rather spoilt and super passive abt studies. my aunt has being supervising her studies since young (my cousin is studying primary 6 now). i always felt that my aunt would never be able to supervise her once she gets to secondary school cos it's just going to get more n more difficult. and i seriously hope my little cousin will be more sensible by then.

i have some rich friends. some are so self-centered that they simply lack EQ and initiative. and it can be very frustrating to have such friends at times. yet, i have friends who are very down-to-earth, despite them being so rich. they still have the drive to do well, and i was pleasantly surprised by that.

Therefore, i really wondered if all these are a result of the kind of characters that GOD gives them or as a result of lifes being too comfortable.

sometimes, i joked with my gf that if i happen to be rich in the future, i would still appear to be poor (like stay in HDB flat, don't drive car,no expensive holiday trips etc). i still believes it's better to grow up in a poor family. am i wrong to think it that way???

side track a bit. i am rather lost for this sem. i don't know what should be my foucs. that's why i have not stated down my 2009 resolutions cos i still don't know what i want to achieve for this yr.

year 2008 review

this could be a very long blog.

it has being so long since i blog. 2 reasons: i am really quite busy for since the start of my internship in jun. i also lost a bit of desire to blog. haha

BUT I decided to make a comeback! cos i wan to put down my thoughts for year 2008 and i prefer to type it out rather than write it down using pen.

learnt a few important lessons this yr which made me think a lot about what i really want in life, what am i really going after in life?

yr 2008 marks my first encounter with business cases and i fall in love with business cases cos it was really the most challenging thing in my uni life. business cases opened up a lot of opportunities: like presenting to a director from pwc advisory, joining Business Solutions club (thus meeting more like-minded people, esp malcolm wong), representing nbs in business case competitions, getting to know frens from other countries. most importantly, business cases allowed me to have a better idea of the kind of career that will interest me.

went back to kom for internship cos i couldn't get approval to go hsbc. so i tried to make do with what i had and i requested to do a few wks of internship at both corporate development deapartment and finance. finance really bored me. i am dying to get out of that department cos i dun plan to do accounting for the rest of my life. i repeated this a lot of time: accounting is just a good knowledge to have in the business world. i wan to do strategy, or work that are more analytical based. my request to make a permanent switch to corporate development department was turned down.

perhaps all these are not really that important. the most painful lesson for 2008: spend more time with ur loved ones (be it family or frens). don't use work etc as an excuse. it's v painful when u decided to spend time with someone but that person is no longer living in this world.

during the wk of my business case competition, my taekwondo coach of 7 yrs passed away on the 3rd day of my competition. i had plans to visit my grandma immediately after my competition ended on a fri. but it was too late, my grandma passed away on the very last day of my competition. the kind of sadness can't be described. i hate myself for using trainings and work as an excuse not to visit my grandma every wk. i thought i can make it up to her after my competition. i lost that chance forever.

it made me wondered what do i really want? achievements, money, proving myself or simply to lead a normal life if that allows me to spend time with my loved ones.

do u know what u really want? i used to think i know what i want. yr 2008 made me think otherwise. yr 2008 made me think harder, in a painful way