grandma

went to c my grandma 2dae...
tink her mood quite good..tok a lot to me..thou i dun understand 100% of wat she said
but it's oki
as long as she said something to me n i will b hapi liao
n i took a foto of her n me together
finali did so n i tink e foto look quite gd =p

haf i did something wrong???

went out w her on sat nite...
my sixth sense told me she will wear skirt n she reali did..(thou tt's bsides the pt)

went to watch 'stealth'...not too bad thou tink 'e island' is better...
half wayb thru e movie, she rested her head on my shoulder n our hand touched...
we held hands, were v close, jux like a couple....e feeling is not too bad...
thou i duno how she felt den..

on e way home, she told me tt she liked me but she tink is too fast for her to start a relationship again..
i told her tt w my current army workload, i dun haf e time to commit to a relationship...
deep down in my heart der's a lot of thing i m afraid of.

1. i carn gif her my whole heart....i tried but i carn...n hence i will hurt her one dae if we start.
2. i dun wan her to haf an invisible bf n limit her choice..it's not fair to her...
3. i will hurt her one dae cos we dun last...she told me she c future w me, but i dun...
4. tink i m still in e shadow of my previous relationship, i dun dare to start 1

while at e park of her hse, she ask me "so wat's our relationship now"

i m speechless n i duno how to ans her..i din gif an ans cos i dun haf an ans to her qn
she told me dun treat her so nice..i wonder if der's any other meaning in it?
she gave me a peck jux b4 we parted...
i was stunned..reali stunned...

e more i tink abt it, e more my heart tell me dun start a relationship now cos it's jux not e rite time...i will HURT her n i dun wan tt to happen..she's a nice ger...

mayb we jux met at e worng time...
can i jux let it b a beautiful memories and nothing but jux tt??

stil conFused

she ask me if i m free on fri nite on msn....
n i tease her if she was trying to date me...duno wat m i doin...
in e end, we decided to met on sat evening....
will anything happen?
how will i react?
onli god noes

had a 45bucks (after 15% discount) brazil buffet at Brazil (sixth ave)
quite unique, e food not bad...but 45 bucks not tt worth it..esp when i dun reali wana eat buffet cos dix wk din run, onli play ball once...(basicali no exercise)..how can?
m i reali doing too much work...
sometimes i wish i m not tt responsible as i m now
den mayb i wont gif so much damn abt e army work....

next 2 wks will b hectic...cos heritage run n ndp...
after tt can i rest? dun tink so..me conducting offr for range for whole bn on 31 Aug..
super big event...need time to prep..
can i b a TD offr?
DyS3 sucks big time!!!!
is dix my positive army experience!!!!
burning out soon!!!

confused

e coms parade is not bad...
e dinner n movie n wateva happened after tt made me tink alot...
m i tinkin too much???

i duno...those msgs made me even more confused....
sld i put down wat i feel now n carry on wif life ....
i seem to haf break her heart...haf i??? did i???

y do i haf so many qns tt i carn ans???

she told me tt she broke up w her bf liao
n edgar n jacq sae it's bcos of me....
isit???

she sae she got something to tell me...wat??? is it e news that she broke up w her bf liao???

m i ready for a relationship again after 2 yr plus??

i dun wan to hurt any one n i tink i will hurt her if i were to get into a r/n now....

sms audit result is out already...got 95.59%...tink either 1st or 2nd in e army liao...
but it's not accurate

my S3 leaving for his new post soon...saw e new S3 2dae...both me n kevin tink tt he carn make it n will not b as nice as my current S3....
man hate changes and i tink S3 br is a gd place for me to learn to how to adapt to changes...change my sgt, boss n specs at diff period of time b4 i ORD....

tot cork w edgar n luke n worked until 3 plus 4 am in e morning yesterdae
haven worked OT for v long liao...

TOP SECRET

manage to get my ass out of my bed to go for a 45min run 2dae...ran onli once dix wk which is v bad...mux run more...hence v tempted to get another pair of running shoe....set my eyes on nike free...mayb will get it one dae..

had always wanted to arrange my fotos but always too lazy to drag my ass to kino to buy a nice foto album...n again, i finali did it 2dae...now it's time to arrange my fotos liao..

dun tink i will tell 4gians tt i haf a blog cos somethings r TOP SECRET n letting 4gians noe will b disaster!!! but tink my army guys can have access to it....n my brudderS...cos tots never said b4 should never b made noe to alot of pple...

went to visit my grandma 2dae....went in for onli a super short while (less den 5 min i tink) n she ask me to leave liao....made me v sad...wonder if it's bcos she dun like me...was looking at her while i was waiting for e lift...shes' like dun dare to look at me n she started to pat at her forehead (an action tt she will do when she's sad..)feeling a bit down after tt...wat can i do 2 make her =p??can anyone tell me????

finalli

finali got my blog...always tot tt i will b too lazy to maintain a blog hence waited til now....
so wat xactly made me change my mind??? need a space where i can shout out all my feelings n tt's y my blog is called ' tot's never said b4 '

alot of things carn b said, but if i dun let it out, i dun feel GOOD...

let me go n find a blog skin tt i like first...hate this one...

n hopefulli i can maintain this blog=p