THE DAY

if last wk was a dream, i tink yest i tot i was in heaven ba....
but at e day went by, i was sent from heaven to hell....
fulfilled 1 dream n a promise yest....
told her tt actuali during e period when i cleared leave in feb, one of e things i wanted to do is to gif her a surprise by buying breakfast to her hse n to c e smiling face when she first woke up...
n i managed to do tt yest....
n e dream is abt me cuddling together wif e ger i like on a raining day, not wanting to wake up....
everything we did was so nice but still must wake up in e end.....
was reading my bk while she did her own things...b4 we went out to china square to eat...n to marina to shop....
as e day comes to an end, i was v sad, it's like knowing tt u haf to bk in but u dun wan to....
cos u dun wan wat's beautiful to end....
i still dun understand y we lost control yest of ourself....
guessed it's bcos for e 1st time since so long, both of us followed our hearts n not our mind....
when i called her at ard 9plus at night, she was giving me a cold shoulder n i sort of got e hint....
so i told her tt i will stop all dis stupid things.....den she sent me a email letter....
shocked to c e letter but not shocked by e things she wrote inside....
next we had an almost 3hrs tok on e phone....
i had tears in my eyes when i was telling her how i felt during e times when i was in taiwan....
i got e feeling tt somewhere in e conversation, she at least had tears in her eyes....
n finali she answered something tt i had always wanted to noe...
which is how she wld like me to react on 21 nov 05 tt night.....
she sae i gave her e feeling tt i dun like her enuf n tt wif e decision i made, she felt tt she's not impt enuf to me....
which is all wrong n i reali hoped i can turn back times n if given another chance i wanted to make her feel like she's a princess...
she sae tt for dis past few wks, i reali made her felt like a princess, e feeling was so intense tt no one ever gave her such feelings b4...
but i m not doing much i noe...
if given a chance, i wld reali like to make her feel like a princess.....
e chat was v long...but i m glad tt we tok abt our feelings from 21 nov 05 til now..
she told me tt she wanted some time to b alone to sort out her tots...
n sae perhaps she wont c me dix wk...
i granted her wish, even thou i hope she dun take so long...
i will b strong, i dun wan to make her worried abt me n i wont breakdown like how her bf will
but tt doesn't mean i dun like her as much as her bf does...
she was angry wif me for a while yest too cos i teased her for being short...perhaps i had really grew taller...
cos she really seemed abit shorter...but tt doesn't mean my love for her decrease...
it was fun trying to tease her den cheer her up, asked her dun b angry...
u sae u wanted to bring me to eat alot of things....
will we eva had a chance to do tt?
bcos i told u b4, e higher my hopes, e greater my disappointment will b...
tt's y i dun wan to tell u my plans for e period of time when i cleared leave