how long more can i last

wonder how long more can i stick to this relief teaching...
driving me nuts....carn stand their bloody attitude....
this is wk 5....time flies....but it's painful....
i wan to lead a hapi life...n my life is not hapi now....
so wat's stopping me?
ego? to proof i can last 1 term? but to who? to myself?
i duno....life is stress n not hapi....
at least back in camp, life is stress n not hapi but e pple der make u hapi....
duno wat i m tinking...
finali reject my natsteel scholarship...
dun wan to tink abt it liao....cos i dun wan to look back n regret...
hope i wont....
it's has been almost 5 mths since i broke up wif her...
guess my heart still sae tt i like her....
actuali when i first started out wif her, i din expect myself to like her so much....
still v much affected by her words and actions....
wat can i do?
jux live wif it lor